Guatape – Colombia

We had heard from a few people that Guatape was worth a visit so we took a bus and planned to stay a couple of nights.  We were feeing a bit tired so we chose a nice quiet hostel a little out of town.  However, unluckily for us, the hostel owners wife was out of town and he decided that he wanted to party the first night!  We were both feeling the travel burnout and decided not to get involved, curling up in our beds instead.  Randomly the two English guys from the bus to Salento were in our dorm and also decided to go on a big party night and drink lots, even though they had to be up at 5 for the bus.  The younger of the two, came in pissed later on and said he would pack in the morning.  I became his mother and sternly told him he should pack now (He wasn’t going to be ruining my sleep in the morning!).  He obeyed and wasn’t too much trouble although left his hat, which resulted in me carrying it round for three weeks incase we bumped into him again.  We decided to stay a few days longer as it was beautiful, however this meant being in different dorms, which was actually a nice break from each other.  We hadn’t slept separately since the capsule hotel in Kyoto, Japan.  The hostel was unbelievably well placed.  These are the views of the rock.


And it had its own lake.


I spent a good amount of time down there on the grass sunbathing and dipping into the (freezing) water.  I would have loved to just float on the water all day but the lake bed was full of mud and reeds, and it freaked me out that something was constantly touching my leg!


We climbed the famous rock – “El Penon De Guatape” which had 770 steps in total, in the blistering heat.  There were some people who had to have oxygen and didn’t make it, due to the altitude, but we treated it as training for the inca trail.  If we failed this we had no chance!  We had no problems in the end and got to the top quickly to see the amazing views.


Apparently the rock has only got the “G” written on it, as it is between two towns, and Guatape had started to write “Guatape” before the other town kicked off.  So now it is just a G and half a u!!


The town of Guatape was very nice, but  little like Salento, felt slightly unauthentic – Like it was putting on a show for tourists.  The town was pretty with lots of coloured buildings and cute streets, but there was also an array of shitty trinket stalls and waiters outside restaurants, clearly on commission to get you to come in.  Not dissimilar to Spain!


However Guatape holds a special memory for me.  Which I will take with me for the rest of my life.  And yes this is about food.  All my big moments seem to be about food.  Bandeja Paisa.  This is apparently a very meaty dish but as we were veggie it was egg, fried plantain, arepa, Colombian beans (Oh my god I need to find them in England – These piss all over Heinz), avocado, chips and rice.  It was my Colombian equivalent of egg, chips and beans and it was divine.  I ate it every night for the rest of the time that I was in Paisa territory!


The last night there, we were feeling a bit more social and chatted to an Ozzy couple who told us about a hostel in Minca.  This piece of information changed my life.  The blog is coming soon but Minca was my second favourite place on our trip, losing only to Tokyo.  I bought a bracelet off the lovely girl who worked in the hostel, who was sustaining her travel by making these lovely beaded bracelets.  And I chatted for hours to a young Colombian lad in my room whose english was excellent.  He told me all about his country and customs, and said something that stayed with me.  “Colombia isn’t a country, it’s a state of mind”



If you plan to visit Colombia then you must visit Salento!  It was one of our favourite places in Colombia although the bus drive there was a bit hairy.  We had to change buses and then get a local bus transfer.  We had worried ourselves again by reading about bus crime and luggage robbery in Pereira so we had gone via Armenia instead.  I used my basic Spanish to get us around the bus terminal in Armenia but it wasn’t necessary.  Because we were foreigners we were shooed towards the Salento bus anyway.  We were the only people on the bus, and the sign was just a handwritten sign saying “Salento” and we weren’t asked for money when we got on.  We anxiously fidgeted on the bus as the driver drove through random small roads in the city and stopped in a very dodgy alley outside a house.  We both hugged our backpacks tighter starting to doubt that this really was a bus and not a con.  A guy in a tracksuit came towards the now stationary bus and started to shout animatedly at the driver.  I started to panic, but my fears were soon alleviated when the driver fished around in his bag and produced a wrench that he must have borrowed,  gave it to the tracksuited man and drove off.

On the bus we sat next to another English lad (this was the first time of three that we would randomly run into them over the whole of Colombia!) and they said they travelled to Pereira and loved it.  Apparently there are some beautiful hot springs there so don’t be like us and chicken out.


Salento is so easy and set up completely for tourists.  There is a little square with food vans and lots of shops.  Although now I am vegan , at the time I had the trout, which came with a patacon and was baked with potatoes in a creamy garlic sauce.  It was delicious – The potatoes are a little bit like french potato gratin!

We stayed at La Serrana as we had seen a video from Goats on the road when they stayed here and it was amazing.  The place was beautiful, surrounded by nature, and the staff were good.  The only crappy thing was the room and it’s inhabitants.  We stayed in a dorm which was meant to house 8 beds but they had squeezed another bed in the corner Between all those beds were only two plugs, so charging your phone was a challenge.  Also we had something stolen from this room, the toilet was constantly blocked by these guys who clearly couldn’t read a sign saying do not flush paper, and we were were woken up at 4am every morning by the same disrespectful cretins.  Anyway I used my anger and channelled it into another blog – Five ways to be a c*** in in a shared dorm – you can find this here.


Other than the bedroom, the place was great.  We played Tejo one night and had a barbecue, which was great fun.  On weeknights the hostel does communal dinners which is really great as you can get to know people.  (They also do veggie food.)  Hector deserves a special mention as he was really nice and his English was fantastic.

Whilst we were the we went horseriding which we organised through the hostel.  I would really recommend this as it was one of the best days we had.  I didn’t take my phone, which I now regret, as the views were phenomenal, but as we were riding up steep hills and through high rivers , it was probably for the best.

We visited a coffee farm called Las Acacias which is walk-able from the hostel.  This is a must go, even if you don’t like coffee as this is the major industry of the area and it was really interesting seeing how the coffee is harvested, grown and dried.  Plus I learned a lot about actual coffee.  I now drink Colombian filtered coffee as opposed to freeze dried rubbish!  Andrew was not impressed with the taste though!  I also got three coffee beans in my pod that I picked!  Apparently this is really rare so must be a good omen.  Andrew got two beans and a worm!! Not sure what kind of omen this is!!


Our favourite part of Salento was the Valle De Cocora walk we did.  About 7km, and a lot of insanely steep hills abut absolutely stunning views we picked a really good day for nit.  It was sunny but not too hot.  Part way through you can detour to see the hummingbirds which we did.  They were so cute!


BE WARNED – on this walk, there is a point where you can go right or left.  Right is to the hummingbirds and you would think that left, is to carry on for the rest of the walk.  It isn’t.  You have to go back on yourself for a few minutes and go up a steep hill to carry on with the walk.  The left takes you on a three day walk and apparently several backpackers have make that uncomfortable mistake.  It is REALLY not well signposted.  Take a map if you can, or at least take a picture of the map on the way in.


There are also two ways of doing the walk – we just followed the herd but luckily we did it the right way.  There is a really pretty part of the walk where you are surrounded by the amazing trees.  If you go one way on the circular through the gate, then you finish there, the other way (up the road) then you start there.  Either way is fine but it is better to end there as otherwise you have seen the best bit before you have even started!




I’m afraid to write this post in case I offend anyone! If you are from LA (or the U.S. in general) you might want to skip this one 😬

But here is the truth… Of all the places we travelled round the world, including India and Colombia, LA felt the least safe.  There was one place we liked, (ish) which was the pier. 

But it was crammed with bodies just like the streets of Varanassi. Other than this, we wandered round the shithole in disbelief at the sorry-looking place. It was not what we expected.

The city can be directly related to the horrendous state of its airport. 

The airport is disorganised. When we got of the plane we headed for security. They had those machine-things that scan your passport. We thought that would be quick.  We were wrong. We waited in a never-ending queue to get to the machine which only printed a form off with our passport details. We then queued up for a person to check our piece of paper who pointed us to yet another queue to another person who checked both the piece of paper and the passport. SO WHAT IS THE BASTARDING POINT OF THE MACHINE?! We had queued now for nearly an hour and we still had two more queues in store for us, customs and the biggest queue I have seen in my life TO GET OUT.  It was not a good introduction to the country but gave me an idea of why things there are such a mess.  It is pretty cheap to get a gun license but an ambulance will cost you ten thousand dollars. We found this out when we started chatting to our lyft (like uber) driver and he was telling us that he regularly picks people up who have broken limbs or need urgent medical attention but can’t afford an ambulance.  He said that it was normal for him to have to carry people into a&e. Looking at the state of the airport I can believe it.

People are miserable and there are so many untreated mental health issues. In the airport, the staff were either miserable or dangerously power hungry. I didn’t see anyone smile. No-one looked welcoming. I did, however, see the most terrifying man with a god complex. He was in charge of the two queues towards security and he clearly took his job extremely seriously.  So he should.  Queue management is one of the pinnacles of airport safety.  So many hazards can be avoided by proper standing.  He boomed over our heads to “MOVE TO THE RIGHT”. Me and Andrew were separated as it was deemed not safe to queue together.  “START TAKING YOUR SHOES OFF NOW.” But security is fifteen minutes away? “STAND UP STRAIGHT”. Ok he didn’t actually say this but it wouldn’t have surprised me.

This uncomfortable weirdness was seen across LA. The security man in the grocery store had a gun.  There were countless people on the streets shouting about god, including one man who ran between the cars at the pier shouting bible verses peppered with the odd “the Lord will kill all fags”.  

It’s easy to hate these people, but to me this is mental illness at its worse. It must be tough to live in such a consumer driven society with advertising shoved down your throat and poisons in your food.  Even when you try to find some serenity in religion, your leaders maniacally feed you lies and fear leading to your religous obsession.  Now all of a sudden you are a hypnotised robot fighting their battle, screaming against gays because you had a healthy amount of homosexuality before and now you afraid of it. Empty vessels are easy to fill and there is a lot of fake shit here.  The people that we spoke to in LA just seemed a bit false and entitled (and so unreasonably loud.)

We stayed in an airbnb which was nice but the area was terrifying.  The airport information man’s informational advice was “you shouldn’t be staying there”. The uber man said he wouldn’t have taken us had he known where we were going. After a quick Google it turned out we were near a high murder rate street. Lovely. We stayed in our room, slept off our horrendous jet lag and drunk giant beers and pretended we were midgets.

In terms of travel advice I have two good things to say about LA.

Michael’s. Because. Pens. 

And Cocoichibanya. Nom. 

But they are found in much better places so I would  just skip LA if at all possible! And until the orange babboon has left the whitehouse maybe skip the U.S. altogether and spend your money elsewhere.  Like north Korea.

Japan – Tokyo and my existential crisis

People had said to me that we would get a culture shock when we got to Japan.  Everything was going to be so scary, strange and alien.  People wouldn’t speak any English, menus would all be in Japanese, they ate weird stuff, listened to Babymetal and watched tentacle porn.  However arriving in another country had never felt so much like coming home.  

When we met Hajime from Japan in Laos, he had shown us a map of the Tokyo underground and it looked scary as hell.  So, as we landed and made our way nervously through the airport, we were already stressing about how we were going to find our air bnb using this multicoloured tangle of a map.

Immigration took a matter of seconds.  No queue.  No messing.  Just pure efficiency.  We were off the plane and reunited with our bags within fifteen minutes.  We went to the train station in the airport and braced ourselves for the communication problems.  The lovely lady explained to us in perfect English, how to get to our subway stop.  She gave us a map (which we used the whole time) and highlighted our route and explained the subway changes we had to make.  It was so easy.  The subway is really so simple once you understand what the colours and numbers mean.  And it is super efficient.  I mean we noticed when a subway was thirty seconds late – that’s how impeccably on time it is!

So within no time we were in our cute and tiny air bnb with the most delicious store bought cheap sushi and chocolate that tasted like an eighties easter egg (when chocolate was still good).  I was in heaven!

We spent the next two days exploring Tokyo.  I loved it all.

I ate the most delicious mackerel that I have ever tasted in a little restaurant near our air bnb. (They had an english menu and it was fine!) I had no idea what all the little side dishes were or how I was meant to eat my seaweed but it was all delicious. I’m getting a juicy mouth just writing about it!

We went to the government building which is one of the tallest in the city.  

You can get some great photos there and if you hang around before dusk you can get both day and night pictures.  Plus they have some really cute things in the shop up there whilst you are waiting!

We went to Golden Gai, which is a collection of over 200 bars, most of which fit less than ten people! They are so cute – Many have themes such as the Troll pub, or Halloween.  We were obviously in “Death match in Hell”, a metal and movie bar, complete with Japanese Wayne from Wayne’s world.  We met some great people in there and had an amazing (and toe curlingly expensive) night.

We went to the famous Shibuya crossing and I just happened across a mall with a whole floor of stationery.  Hundreds of diaries, bullet journals, stickers, and washi.  All there for the taking, and all ridiculously cute.  I had to walk round with the mantra of – “everything I buy I have to carry on my back.  everything I buy I have to carry on my back” (It would be worth a spinal injury I think).

We bought a subway day pass and just hopped between areas – Tokyo really is enormous but the subway is so easy.  And the places are so different – upmarket Ginza with it’s offices and upmarket shops, is a couple of stops from Akihabara, which is geek central – with it’s teens dressed in anime costumes and many games arcades with crazy Japanese music. It’s a city of contrast but with a common thread of perfectionism and good manners.

We went to a few parks in the city. If Japan does one thing impeccably (and it does everything impeccably) it’s parks.  In the middle of the biggest city in the world and I can’t hear a sound other than birds and the soothing music they play in the park (which was randomly “auld Lang Syne”).  

It was in the first park where I contemplated the fact that I might be dead,  This was heaven or some kind of perfect holding place until I accepted I was dead.  Actually, if I remembered correctly there was really bad turbulance on the flight in.  Maybe that’s when it ended and I didn’t know.  Why else would food taste so good, the air smelll so sweet and the temperature be so perfectly just right?  And as if there would be so many planners and stickers in one shop? And what the hell is Japanese Wayne doing here?  Why are the trees growing up out of the ground? 

Surely it’s not real.  Everywhere I go smells like flowers mixed with my childhood and everyone I meet is lovely and polite and sweet.  I look at Andrew and wonder if he died too?  I asked him and to my surprise (I thought he would ridicule my idea) he agreed.  It appeared we were in heaven.

So we decided the test would be that, if when we tried to leave Japan we couldn’t, we would know we were really dead.  I’m writing this in Cairns, Australia so we know we are alive. But we also know that we utterly and completely love Japan and will definitely return.

Cambodia – Siem Reap

After Pnom Penh we travelled by bus to Siem Reap, solely for the purpose of seeing the Angkor area including Angkor Wat.  Upon arrival, we realised that this wasn’t our kind of place.  The tuk tuk drivers move very quickly with the variety of their offers from “tuk tuk?” “Lady?” “Weed?” “Heroin?”, within a five second pitch.  Again, this might be driven by the population still recovering and the survivers of the Khymer Rouge times, still scrambling to get a leg up in the world by any means possible.  Even if it means offering complete strangers heroin.  Anyway, we headed to our hostel which was damp and smelled like fish and vinegar.  A fine mix (for a sushi restaraunt).  In order to avoid the stench, we googled and found a metal bar, which turned out to be a lovely chilled acoustic open mic night, where I sang! Ok honestly I just harmonised for one song whist holding someone’s droopy Mic stand (not a euphemism).  It was called the harbour, for those who find themselves in Siem Reap.  And for the fellow geeks, they also have board games including Catan!

We did our obligatory Angkor Wat and other temples tour.  Most hostels (including our smelly one) organise a tuk tuk for you as its an early start. 4am early.  We did our trip with Matt (from Thailand and Laos) and a lovely girl we met called Rut.  The place was amazing.  In hindsight I wish I had paid for the three day ticket.  It is super expensive, I think £60-70?, but you could go back and spend more time there.  We only managed til midday as it was too hot and it would have been nice to go and see the temples we missed.  Also, top tip – If you are going to get the one day ticket, if you buy it after 5pm the day before, you get the remainder of that day free so you can see the sunset, then your ticket is also valid the next day 🙂

We had some fun times at Matt’s hostel (again we were trying to stay away from ours) and had a few drinks.  The nightlife is lively in Siem Reap and it is full of tourist bars, restaraunts and stalls selling fried insects.  Matt’s verdict?  Awful.  Clearly I did not go near this.  I was frightened of it even dead on the stick!  We also played Dare Jenga where, amongst other things, me and Andrew had to swop tops and he had to hold hands with another guy for whole round!

The rest of Siem Reap was chilled.  We spent way too long there really so didn’t do much the last couple of days.  We moved to a cheapish hotel with a roof terrace and hot tub (aka cold tub as you don’t need hot water in that weather!).  There were lots of cute cats and the room didn’t smell of fish.  I call that a win 🙂

Cambodia – Pnom Penh

You can’t come to Cambodia and not see the killing fields.  This is what we told ourselves, as we had heard awful things about Pnom Penh and we were worried about safety.  One of the girls we met at the Laos border crossing had said she was attacked by a group of street kids that wanted to rob her of her purse.  She also nearly got her phone snatched her by from thieves on a motorbike.  We had heard several of these kind of stories, and looking back at the place, I dare say its true, but luckily nothing happened to us.  We deliberately avoided the tourist strip and instead headed into the local area which seemed nice enough and safe, although you can tell the difference between cambodia and the other south east asian countries.  It came very close to India, in the state of disrepair that it was in, there was rubbish everywhere and there was more apparent poverty.  

It was just after their new year though, so maybe this isn’t normal!  We stayed in a lovely hostel though with a pool and met up with Troy (whom we met in India).

We had a trip booked for the next day where a tuk tuk driver would take four of us to S21 no the killing fields.  I don’t know anything about history (even as recent as this) so we decided that we would watch a documentary before going.  (I had gone through the whole of Vietnam without having a clue about what happened in the war and felt a bit ignorant doing so.). I’m so glad we learnt a bit about it as this hammered it home to me. The suffering that these people had been through.  When people were first moved out of their homes in Pnom Penh, they were told it was for their own safety as there was going to be a bombing.  They could come back in a few days.   But this was not true.  They were to be killed if they were any of these things – educated, spoke a foreign language, were from another country, had soft hands, wore glasses, practised religion, were an artists or musicians, lived an urban life and had no agricultural skills. 

The documentary I watched made a really good point.  I knew the Khmer Rouge regime was recent (1975-1979).  But what I didn’t realise was that, this meant that anyone over 38 would have been alive then.  This is crazy.  The person selling you street food, your tuk tuk driver, the old lady walking down the street, all lived this nightmare.  So the next day when we got in our tuk tuk, the first thing I noticed was that our driver was late forties so would have seen it.

We went to the killing fields first and we took the audio tour.  If anyone does this you NEED to take the audio tour – you learn so much from this.  So you walk round the area and hear the stories from survivors, whilst seeing the places that the events took place.  There was the truck stop, where the truck pulled up full of people, confused and scared, who had been told they were being sent to a new home.  Some of them maybe believed it, and stepped off the truck with some hope of a new life.  This hope would soon be dashed as they were packed into windowless buildings until the night fell.  At the night time there was a big tree in the centre, to which a large music system was hung.  They played music loudly through the night to cover up the screams of the people being killed.  Bullets were too expensive so they were beaten in the head, or had their throats cut with sharp tree leaves.  There was a special tree for babies and children.  Babies were killed by being held by the foot and their head smashed into the tree.  The Khmer Rouge didn’t want any survivers from a family coming back years later to avenge their family so they killed everyone.  Their motto was “when pulling our weeds, remove them roots and all”.

The bodies have now been taken out of the mass graves and a memorial sits in the middle of the grounds to honour those who lost their lives.

We then went to S21, which I thought wouldn’t be as bad however it was worse.  I dint take any pictures here other than this one.  

In side the cells were horrendous – there were pictures of how the cells were when they were discovered.  The Khmer Rouge had killed the last prisoners in a hurry and their pictures of them still strapped to the beds, were on the walls.  The rooms were barren with only a metal bed which they were tied to and torture equipment was brought in.  Other rooms were the size of a wardrobe which could house two prisoners.  Some prisoners shared rooms and were attached by a long metal pole which forced them to lie down, they couldn’t sit up, talk, or change position.  They tortured the prisoners in horrific ways.  They dunked them under water, hung them from their arms and put living centipedes up women’s vaginas to make them confess to crimes they didn’t do.  

On the audio tour for the killing fields I was so angry to discover that the Khmer Rouge still held onto their UN seat until 1993.  Why didn’t the rest of the world know what was happening?  Why did Pol Pot get to live a happy life til his death fairly recently?  It really makes me wonder if this is going on somewhere in the world now and we are all blithely unaware, watching the kardashians dominate our “news” instead.

Lots of “Firsts” in Jaipur!

Finally everything sorted with sim card and internet, we manage to book a train to avoid Delhi.  I really cannot stand the thought of going back so we spend a whole 23 hours on trains avoiding it!  We left Shimla on the toy train at ten in the morning and we didn’t arrive in Jaipur until after 9 the next morning.  

In Chandigarh we get our first sleeper train. 

 In the UK we decided we wouldn’t go below AC2 class, which is like the second class.  Unfortunately as we booked this so late there was only AC3 class.  We are sitting in Chandigarh station and I am just imagining how nice and warm my own bed is in England and conjuring the horrors that might be on this train.  I imagine being tightly curled up around my backpack, whilst being thrown around by the train and keeping one eye on the dodgy passengers so they don’t steal any of my shit.  However I was pleasantly surprised.  

The dodgy passengers turned out to be a nice family and a lone younger guy so we didn’t feel threatened.  We were very tightly packed in and we were both too long for the bed but it wasn’t too bad.  The train kind of rocks you gently to sleep!  AC3 means that there are three tiers a top middle and bottom. I was on the top and andrew was middle.  

Another family got on with a tiny baby and he swopped with them so they could sit together.  My heart sank when I saw the baby.  I figured that was sleep out of the window but it didn’t make a peep all night!! However I saw a creepy crawly (possible a cockroach) on the other side of the train wall so I didn’t sleep anyway, constantly checking the wall behind me and jumping at every tickle on my skin.
We arrived at Moustache hostel in Jaipur.  It is so much warmer here!  We actually got a bit sunburned!

The hostel was amazing.  We stayed in our first shared dorm here – a 6 bed shared dorm.  I was imagining rowdy people coming in stinking drunk at 3am and not being able to pee when you need to!  But again I was pleasantly surprised. 

There were only four of us in the room, one lovely guy called Troy and an Indian guy who travels all the time and has been pretty much everywhere!  The dorm was super quiet and clean.  

 I really like Jaipur.  The pink city, although nice to look at, is full of the same tat that is everywhere.  People selling you the same scarves and trinkets.  

I think all the city centres are going to be the same in terms of touts, scams and shopping.  You could be anywhere.  We did get our first rickshaw here!  We’ve taken a few now and it’s not as scary as you might think.

We did see the Hawa Mahal although we didn’t go in.  It was stunning outside though. We are already waaaay over budget in India. Its not as cheap as you might think. 

Also we spent a day at the Amber fort which was amazing.  

It was half an hour out of Jaipur and it was a nice quiet day out.  

We paid for entry and explored taking in some culture 🤓

We head to Agra next which I think will be tourist central!

Day 1 in Delhi – Sort of a nightmare!!

So after a year of planning and saving we step off the plane into a completely different culture wondering what awaits us! For  the next three hours we do the most british thing ever.  We queue. We queue for our passports to be checked in the longest queue ever.  Standing in the “foreign passports” queue with all the other brits and americans, but its quick – it’s like a Primark queue – looks worse than it is.  After half an hour and nearing the front we find out we are in the wrong queue.  If you have the evisa then there is a separate queue – much shorter but twenty times slower.  Another 45 minutes then we queue for the visa check (an old man in a chair), queue for baggage, ATM (literally no cash in any of them) taxi then sit in a traffic jam for an hour! So far, so Britain!

It changes when we leave the airport though.  The poverty here is obvious – children run in between the cars begging or trying to sell balloons or water. We drive past several slums and people are washing their clothes on the pavement.  And man, I have never seen so many dogs foraging for food.

The taxi driver who was meant to take us to the hostel is waiting for another passenger so his mate takes us.  Driving here is something else and not for he faint hearted.  It is definitely a case of who dares wins!  Lord knows how we are going to cross the street  I look at my online map (because I’m a clever clogs and downloaded it for offline use) and we seem to be going past where I think the hostel should be.  We drive up the busiest road I have ever seen in my life and get out of the taxi into a dark alley.  We follow dutifully past a man peeing on a wall and children running around to the hostel.  It isn’t the one we booked!  It turns out that when you book your hostel there is no point deliberating over little details as we did because most of them are owned by the same company.  If there is no room in one they just put you in another. So we are shown our room which is up 4 flights of steep ass stairs and up onto the roof with building work everywhere.  There is a hole in the wall.  After speaking to them we ask if there is anything else.  They say they can give us a much better room at another hotel for no extra cost.  We accept.  It is soooooooo much worse than the hole in the wall room.  

The worst hotel room ever

I wish I knew the name of this to warn people never to go there but it was dark. (UPDATE – found out it is called hindustan)

  I tried the sink tap and the water came out of the wall underneath it. 

You had to ring up for hot water – however there was no dial tone.  The toilet was the worst thing I had ever seen!  

We didn’t manage to find an ATM so we had no convertors for chargers or money to buy water or anything.  Desperately thirsty I tried out the filter bottles we bought.  They are meant to filter out 99.99% of bacteria and viruses.  Well I am filling it from the rankest bathroom tap ever in Delhi so if these work it’ll be amazing!!

I half sleep with one eye on the door and one eye on the air conditioning unit (I am sure there are spiders in there).  I’m scared of touching anything but my silk sleeper (god I’m glad we bought these).  It’s so loud with people shouting and children screaming and someone with terrible taste in trance music.  At half 12 there is a banging on the door. I think I hate India 😦 The hotel proprietor has decided that now is a perfectly reasonable time for us to sign in.  Hopefully tomorrow brings more normality!